maryrambin:

Running around town today. I just took this pic as opposed to before I left at the beginning of the day, so I’m looking a little ragged.

Head to Toe:

• Gucci glasses
• Shirt I bought at Madison years ago
• Belt from Encore
• Escada shorts
• Bernardo patent flip flops

Um ok. Where do I begin? I confess… I kinda like Julia Allison. I do! That being said, what I am about to say has nothing to do with Julia. It has to do with this self-proclaimed fashionista Mary Rambin.

Quite a few times I have abstained from speaking up about her “fashion blog”. As the writer of a fashion blog myself (Couture Cult), that I am pretty proud of… despite how sporadically I have been posting lately… I find myself putting the frustrations of the poorly dressed onto her. I blame her. I mean… LOOK AT THIS PICTURE!

There must truly be some who are seeking guidance and turning to her page. And they are met with THIS, as an example of what to wear? How about what not to wear?

First of all. Gray and white with black accessories: groundbreaking. Secondly, the particular shade of “blonde” that her hair is: washes her skin out and makes her look red. Maybe she got some sun, but ladies if you have the RIGHT shade of blonde, your hair and skin wont clash! I promise! 

The cut of this top does nothing for her shape. She is broad in the shoulders and narrow everywhere else. With the tank tucked in to the shorts, and then belted… there is still no sign of a waist. I am not saying this to knock her figure, I am saying this to HELP this poor soul. Had she left the tank un-tucked, and belted around the tank rather than around the shorts… and bloused the tank just a teeny tiny bit… she’d create the illusion of a waist. Also, these shorts are so long they elongate her already long shapeless figure.

This is not said as an insult! I am not trying to criticize her body! Just the way she is dressing it. If you have this kind of shape, you want to create the illusion of curves where there is none. She has the right idea with the pleats… only the skinny minnies can pull them off without looking pregnant. BUT: they should be about 2-3 inches shorter. She has wonderful long legs: why not show them off? I’m not saying they should be short in a trashy way: just this isn’t flattering on her and only brings the eye down to see more looooong loooong loooongness with nothing in between to break it up.

And.. why gray? How about a hot pink or teal tank instead? It’s SPRING! Let’s add some color and vibrance to our clothes now…

Maybe instead of some safe and basic every day jewelry… how about some clunky plastic or lucite bangles?

I want to walk up to her, smooth some serum into her hair, untuck her shirt, put the belt around the top of it all and blouse it a bit, maybe roll up or use tape to shorten the hem of these shorts… and there would be a VAST improvement.

And if I see one more fucking Moe bag I’m gunna hurl.

I’m sorry. I just HAD to. This is ridiculous. Style tips from one who is going safe, and showing no particular creative individuality.

If Mary wore a top more like this one, by Balenciaga, it would add some SPRING to her wardrobe and probably her step. It would give her a touch of curves as well and would be flattering to her “bust line”.

Shorts more like this pair by Hudson would also be more flattering on her.

I’d still get them in white but… the cut is more modern and it would accentuate her length in a *positive* way.

Okay, I’m done here.